Forgive and Forget : A Way of Life

“I forgive you, but I won’t forget what you did!”

Words we usually hear in the movies, soap operas or television series, and sometimes in real situations. Some of us already used those words to somebody and sometimes, we're the one being told. But the question is, is it the right way? Yes we can forgive the person, but do we need to forget what he did? Please allow me to share my reflection on this.

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Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash

I have a very close friend back in high school and he was the president of the campus ministry. One day, he just appointed me as his VP (without nomination ehy, that’s how close we are). Then one day, while we were having our morning prayer in class, I noticed a cat’s poop on the floor near where he was standing. To make my classmates laugh, I made a joke, “Bro! You pooped on the floor!” and everyone laughed except him. He was humiliated and embarrassed. He confronted and said, “From now on, you are relieved from your position!”

I was shocked and in my mind, “ehy that was just a joke, it’s just a position, we are buddies.” During the break, I approached him and he just ignored me. I was very troubled and disturbed that day. What will happen to our friendship? We’re close pals.

Later that afternoon, I took guts and swallowed my pride, approached him and said, “Dung, sorry kaayo ganiha dung…” (“Bro, I’m very sorry about this morning…”). He interrupted me saying, “Okay ra oy! Ali diri, sig sorry sorry, kaon diri” (That’s okay! Come here, sorry for what, come, let’s eat!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wait. What?! That quick? That fast? He just forgave me. Did he forget what I’ve done? Whoah!

And I believe that's what “forgive and forget” means -- forgive the person and forget the act, not the way around. I know it’s not easy, especially if it left a big mark in our hearts. But pause, how about we think of it this way.

How does our loving God deal with our sinfulness?

Does He get hurt when we sin? Yes.

Did He forgive us? Yes, always!

Did He forget us? No never, rather He forgets our sins and accepts us as His very own son and daughter.

And that’s what we experience every time we go to confession. We approach the priest, who is blessed and anointed by God, ask for forgiveness then God forgives us, and through the absolution by the priest, the Lord forgets all our sins. Imagine how the Lord is excited and smiles every time He sees us going to confession. In 1 John 1:9, the promise of the Lord is to forgive us always and to purify us by forgetting our sins.

It also applies to ourselves, when we feel unworthy because of our sins, we are to forgive ourselves and forget the sins. As we become like Christ, let us imitate him by making “forgive and forget” as our way of life. Let us be forgiving and loving, for it is right and pleasing to the Lord.